The Aeroplane Floats Low

I've always wondered if what they say over the inter-com on an aircraft differs depending on what class seat you're in. They have these BIG red curtain dividers in-between the compartments. Sound-proofing wouldn't be a problem I would imagine. The people in first class all have digital headphones and view-screens. No one would ever know... Coach: "The pilot would like to inform all our Coach Passengers that we're merely experiencing a little bit of turbulence. He asks that you please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened and your tray tables in their upright and locked positions. PLease observe the fasten-seat-belt and no smoking signs." First Class: "Holy Fuck! This *is* the pilot, and I would like to inform all of the First-Class passengers that the plane *is* going down in flames. I ask that you remain seated and a flight attendant will be around with your individual parachutes shortly. I also request that you not burden your minds with the fate of the coach passengers, because they will surely parish in the horrible metal wreckage. Furthermore, after we've safely relocated you all, no one will know that *you* did not perish so there will be no one to point the blame. Coach: Ladies and gentlemen the pilot *has* exited the aircraft at this point. In just a few moments we, the flight staff, will be joining him as well. Now comes the ultimate test of whether you were paying attention to those flight emergency instructions. Your quiz, and perhaps FINAL EXAM, will take place as this aircraft nosedives toward the atlantic at approximately six-hundred-eighty miles an hour. The pilot has also switched on the after-burners as a way to sort of increase the difficulty level for those passengers who have done it all before. -David Hawkins